"The human race by nature doesn't know loyalty. It's a trait that must be developed. Dogs know nothing else than to be loyal." This was a text I got from my younger brother over a year ago at 2am in the morning. It didn't take me long to type out a one word message: "Agreed." Me and him may not talk that often but there are certain things we always go to each other for because we know the other will understand. Loyalty has always been one of those things.
I recently tried to explain to a friend that I am loyal to a fault, though I'm positive he still doesn't understand. Others may perceive this as being deaf, dumb and blind, perhaps letting myself be led on or having extremely rose tinted glasses about a person. I tend to laugh at these people. By loyal to a fault I mean that I am neither a fair weather nor fowl weather friend. I don't stick around to share the glory and I don't stick around to feel less miserable. In all actuality, I am extremely empathetic and other peoples misery quickly impacts me. I simply am there, for it all. This is not necessarily for everyone, but does go for those I deem important in my life. I see these friends faults just as well as I see their good points and I accept them at face value for who and what they are. Why this concept is hard to grasp, I do not know. Tolerance, patience and acceptance are things we could all do with a little more of.
Like I said though, I'm loyal to a fault. My fault. For some reason this loyalty seems to be a one way street. Ok, sure, people don't ask it of me. Well too bad because it is part of the package deal. That does not mean it needs to be thrown in my face. I'm not dumb, I know when I'm being walked on or taken advantage of. It just doesn't bother me that much and I've learned that people truly feel sorry when they figure out for themselves what they are doing, not when it's pointed out. I'm not deaf. I may walk around with headphones in a lot but I hear people talk. I'm good at putting pieces together and coming to the right conclusion. Alcohol makes for loose lips as well. I'm not blind either, though body language does seem to be a lost art to most people and they don't realize they speak it fluently but can't understand a word. Just observe people for a while and you'd be amazed what you learn. Mirrored sunglasses are a major perk for this. The warning signs are there and I choose to ignore them so I'm not being led on, I am a willing participant. My glasses aren't tinted either, I see very clearly what is infront of me and accept it. All of this just means that when things do go to hell, it is my fault.
I understand why I am this way. Betrayal in early life sucks and is a lesson hard earned and not forgotten. What I don't understand is why other people are the way they are. Is it really that easy or even smart to throw aside someone who no matter what will stand beside you, if not in front of you? What does one gain from this anyhow? Is it just the fact that I too have flaws but others are not as accepting as me? This coarse of events has happened several times in my life though only in recent years has it been significant in meaning. Perhaps it bothers me because I know I will not change. I will be loyal to that person, walk out on conversations trashing them, answer their call at 3am and try to make sure they have something to smile at until they walk away. And that is what has to happen. I can be lied to infinite number of times but will forgive, though not forget. I can be forgotten and pushed aside but will still sit in the corner waiting for them to bore of whatever caught their attention. I will defend them even when I am the butt end of the joke. I will also fight for them to stay when they want to walk away. But eventually it seems that is what happens, it is what always happens. I have become used to it, though not numb to it. The part that usually stings the most is that there never seems to be an explanation when they leave. All I ask for is understanding, not the same level of loyalty in return. So why is a simple explanation so hard to give me?
Perhaps my brother was right. Loyalty is only a learned trait to humans and most humans feel it is a waste of time. And though a dog may wake you up at 3am, its probably just because they want to cuddle with you.
Sad to say you probably both learned your loyalty through the unconditional love you witnessed in your home. I say it is sad because this type of love is not shown in a lot of houses and in similar situations people would have been cast aside, not once but a couple of times. We just aren't like that. Hell, we go out looking for lost lambs and bring them into the fold and show them life can be different.
ReplyDeleteIf more people looked at the world this way it would be a lot nicer and people would learn what it means to sticke by someone.
You would have made a great cowboy.